Do you remember the participation program that Canada had in schools in the 80's? You completed all these different activities and when you finished you got either a bronze, silver or gold badge. But did you know that if you scored too low, there was a participation ribbon. Thanks for coming out! You are terrible at sport! I know this because I received it more than once. In fact the year I finally got the bronze badge I was so happy. I was always an active kid, I played outside all the time, rode my bike, I took dance lessons... but I was definitely not athletically inclined. Not even a little. In junior high and high school I was noticeably absent from the sports pages of the year book. I hated gym until high school, when we finally were not graded on our ability but on our attitude and how hard we worked, and were exposed to things other than the typical team sports which always seemed more of a popularity contest than a sport to me.
The thing I hated most of all was running. I was terrible at it, I remember doing long distance running in junior high and being convinced I might actually die. Fast forward a bit. On my fortieth birthday my friend and I boarded a plane, flew to Vegas and ran my first half marathon. I don't run fast. But you know what, I run! I never in a million years would have thought I would enjoy running and do it for any reason other than being chased by a bear. But here we are.
What makes me run? What takes me back to treadmill or out to the path? It's tapas, or self-discipline. There is something in each of us that pushes us a little bit further than we thought. In the physical practice of asana, tapas is what lets us hold chair pose a little bit longer than we thought we could while our legs are burning and shaking. It is what lets us do one more chaturunga when we don't think we can. It is what keeps us in toe squat when the sensation is intense. It is what brings us to our mat when we are tired and sore. It was through physical asana that I learned to tap into my own inner strength, and is the number one thing that I bring off my mat to the rest of my life. More than anything, tapas is what I am grateful for from yoga. When I find myself procrastinating and being lazy my inner voice yells "TAPAS" at me, and then I fold that basket of socks that has been sitting there too long.
What is it in your life that has challenged you that you can draw upon when things are challenging? Tapas does not need to come from exercise or physical strength. Challenging life events that you have gone through also require tapas. That sense of "I got through that, so I know I can do this". Most importantly it isn't just physical activity that requires tapas, we need it in all aspects of our life, anywhere there is hard work or things we might put off, we need to tap into it. Tapas literally means "fire". When you tap into your fire you literally change yourself from the inside out.
How can you find and light your fire this week? Where can you see your inner strength? You are stronger than you think and you already have everything you need. You are perfectly imperfect already.
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