This week my intention was to choose grace. If you know me personally, feel free to chuckle to yourself. I am not a graceful person. I'm pretty darn clumsy and usually choose the most awkward way to do things. In this case though I mean something a bit different.
"Real strength comes from facing the storm with grace."
- Krishna Das
When you imagine yourself at your best, what does it look like? When is a time you were really proud of what you had done, the way you chose to behave in a challenging situation? Who are you when you are most proud of yourself? This is your divine self, the person you are meant to be. I've talked a bit about this before, but I've been thinking about it more and more lately. As I reach this plateau in my recovery, I am moving through the grief (still) of what is no longer, and trying to understand who I am now. Wrapped up in this is the idea of dharma or your life's work. What is my purpose, what and who am I know that I am not working.
I don't have the answers at this point, which is something I am okay with. I think... But what I do know is the moments when I am my best self. That I have a choice in each moment, a choice to react or respond. Reacting comes from a place of fear, and responding comes from love. We live in a world right now where reacting seems to be the norm, rather than responding. (That is another blog for another day, but something to think about.) My intention this week as to choose in the moment to move from a place of grace, to be my best self as often as I can. To choose to respond rather than react.
Do you you know what your best self looks like? Have you even thought about it? For me it looks something like this:
I am compassionate towards others and myself. When I find myself judging and being annoyed and frustrated by strangers, I know that I am not at my best. When I am critical of myself I know I am not who I want to be. I choose compassion.
I allow my feelings to come and go, I ride the waves rather than fighting. I do not judge how myself OR OTHERS experience the feelings that arise. When I catch myself thinking that someone (or myself) shouldn't be feeling a certain way, I know that I am not my best self.
I clearly communicate my needs. No assuming that others will predict my desires or wishes, or expect them to know unseen boundaries. When I am my best self I am not passive aggressive, I am a clear communicator, and I listen to others also.
I seek and appreciate the balance. When I am at my best, I recognize and appreciate both sides of the coin. That with really productive days, I have to accept that I will have tired days. The yin and yang, the good and the bad. All are welcome here. My best self attaches no preference to good or bad and accepts both. No value judgements.
This is moving moving with grace. When I choose to act and respond from this place I feel at peace. This is the person I want to be. This is who I am meant to be.
What does this look like for you? Notice that none of these things have anything to do with the things I do, they are ways of being rather than the things I accomplish. My best self has nothing to do with how many glasses of water I drank that day, what I ate or if I exercised. It is how I respond. When I am feeling sad or disappointed, as soon as I notice the word should show up in how I am thinking I know that I am not responding gracefully. I notice that setting out clear ways that I wish to respond to the world helps me move through the tough stuff much faster. So who do you want to be?
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