So it turns out that up to 60% of people with a brain injury suffer from anxiety afterwards. I may have been told something like this in the hospital, but it still came as a complete shock as I faced anxiety like I have never known in my 3-6 months of recovery. At its worst I had full panic attacks over making lunch plans with friends. Everything scared me, I couldn't make decisions or imagine what the future might hold for me. The future in itself was overwhelming.
People kept telling me how good I looked, how well I was doing. That almost made it worse. I wanted to scream at them "I can't even pick a restaurant for lunch! How can you say that I am doing well?!" I felt like a fraud. That I would be figured out at any second and sent back to the hospital because clearly I couldn't function in the real world. Or worse; that I wouldn't be figured out and I would feel like I was struggling for the rest of my life. I am sure that there are more than a few of you that can relate to those feelings. I know many people in my life who have anxiety now or at sometime in their lives. And the voice all tells us a similar message.
But I survived it. And I am feeling like I have gotten the anxiety part sort of out of the way now. For now. But here are the lessons that I learned that I used to manage my anxiety when it was so bad.
Breath. Slowly. With purpose. Think about your breathing. Think I am breathing in, I am breathing out.
Once your breath is somewhat under control, move your body. Go for a walk or a run. Get outside. If you can't get outside, take off your socks and walk slowly with purpose in your house. Feeling each spot on your foot. Feel that connection with the ground. Think about your walking. Safety and security are held and processed in your root chakra, and the quickest way to balance it is to walk or stand. If you can't get up for a walk, at least stand up. Tadasana. Mountain pose. Feet hip width apart, grounded to the floor, knees over your feet , hips over knees, neutral pelvis, and the most calming for me is hands at my side palms facing forward.
On your walk or as you ground yourself, think of at least 5 things you are grateful for. Keep going if you think of more. Can't think of any? Just start listing concrete things you see. I see a tree. I see a sparrow. There is a man with a dog. The purpose of this is to stop the cycle of unhelpful thoughts in your head.
Prana. Prana is life energy and comes from our food, air, and water. What have you been putting in/on your body? Are you eating properly? Have you been drinking water? Have you eaten any fresh vegetables lately? Fresh air?
Talk about it. This is the step that in the past I always forgot. Or avoided. Probably the later. My husband was home to watch me have my panic attack over my lunch plans. He reminded me to breathe. He tried to comfort me (which if you have ever had a panic attack you know that it is pretty much impossible). Then he said "If you this was at work, I would know how to fix you." He works as an instrumentation mechanic and works on control systems at power plants. He fixes all the gauges that measure and report back to the operating system which then decides how to proceed. That simple statement snapped me out of it. I looked at him and said "I'm in a feedback loop." I got up and had a shower and calmed myself down. Then we talked about what I was freaking out about. Then I told my friends that I was freaking out, and they took over planning and just picked me up. It was important for him to see my brain misfiring. And to see that when I was aware of it happening and could get out of the cycle of chatter in my head, I could end it. But it really was my brain misfiring. It was out of my control.
So those are my helpful tips. Or how I kick out the unwanted house guest.
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