I have been doing a business boot camp for the last few weeks, maybe trying to learn a few things. It has gotten me thinking a lot about why I want to share yoga with others, and not just practice at home by myself. I've been thinking about who do I really want to hear what I have to say, who do I want to connect with. I can't say it enough that yoga is all about connection.
The first connection is truly with your physical body. Through the poses you learn to feel and understand your body and what it is doing and what it is capable of. You can feel yourself getting stronger, more flexible, supple. You become more in touch with your physical self, aware and appreciative of all your body does for you. For me that was a huge thing at first. I was clumsy, overweight, and I didn't like my body. I did yoga through an online website for years before I was willing to go to a class. I didn't want to go into a room with skinny women in tight clothes where I would be judged. The biggest surprise I had was that I was the only person judging me. I've become much more confident in how I look, although I don't weigh any less. I am the same size. But I feel like a new person. The connection with my physical self lead to more changes.
The second connection I made was to my cognitive and emotion self. Teachers would throw out what seemed like inspiration poster quotes. And at first I just rolled my eyes. Lame. But I can still remember the one that stuck with me. We were in chair pose, dying. And the instructor said "3 more breaths, defy what you think you can do!" When we in the sweet relief of the forward fold he said "How you do this is how you do anything" and it was like a lightening bolt. I am the only thing holding me back and it is in my head. That determination I had for 3 more breaths is the exact strength that I could channel at anytime in my life. It was always with me. This change how I looked at myself, especially off my mat. I took the techniques I used for getting through challenging asanas (physical poses), like breath and quieting my mind, and used them in my real life.
This is why I went to teacher training, the most terrifying thing I have ever done in my life. I freaked out for 2 days before I left. I was not my usual sarcastic loud self there (which has left me wondering who is the more authentic me, but that is another blog post entirely!). I wanted to share what I had experienced. I want people to feel how strong and capable they are. I want people who always put others first to put themselves first even for just an hour. I want people to feel powerful in their own lives. I want to connect with people and share laughter and tears. I want something real.
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