I read the best quote this week. "Fate means you are a victim of circumstance. Destiny means you have embraced circumstance and said 'YES' to life". This is what the last niyama means to me. Ishvara Pranidhana means surrender, meaning to God, the universe, or life's plan depending on what you believe in. One of the things I love about yogic philosophy is that it doesn't require to change your entire belief system. It works with religion, non-religion and just humanity. Inclusive.
The hardest thing to surrender is control. We struggle so much in our own lives to control so much, and so many of our conflicts and stressors in our lives we create ourselves by hanging on to control. Things seem to be going terribly wrong and we try so hard to fix things or to keep things normal, when nothing is normal... We fight and struggle to stay in bad relationship because we are afraid of the unknown. We sabotage really good relationships because what if it gets bad later on. We are so afraid of the unknown so we try and control all of the possible outcomes.
But what if you embraced the unknown, trusted that you can handle what came your way. What if you could be open to all the possibilities.
After my son was born, I was single for close to four years. I actually remember thinking to myself one night as I tucked him in that it could be him and I alone forever and that was okay. It was enough. I met my husband a week later and I knew the first time I met him that he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. That sounds sappy and ridiculous, and I am a very practical and cynical person. I didn't believe in love at first sight. I didn't believe in soul mates. And my husband said that he had had almost the same experience. He decided that he was okay being single and alone with his daughter about a month before we met. It was that letting go of our own belief that we needed someone else to complete us that opened up the space to find each other. I truly believe that until you are enough alone, no one else will ever be enough for you.
Saying all that is fine and good, but it can be hard to put into practice in real life when you life feels like it is falling apart. The times when you are fighting with your kids, when you get laid off from work, when you get a hard diagnosis... how do you embrace those times? I wish I had the answer... I don't. But I think it comes down to being curious and aware of your own thoughts. Being in the moment and believing that everything is working.
You are stronger than you can ever imagine.
Surrender.
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