I once was in a challenging yoga class, one that was very physically demanding. Towards the end of class we were doing some heart openers like floor bow, and between each repetition we rested with our cheek on the floor. I remember the teacher saying "In this moment feel yourself entirely supported, and let your moments of rest be as intentional and meaningful as your moments of exertion." That really stuck with me. The idea that rest and recovery should be as thoughtfully planned and meaningful as your hard work was one I don't think I had ever heard before.
So here I am now. With a year of rest. I mean there is hard work for me involved too you could argue. But I have struggled with this since the early winter. I often feel like I should be doing more, like I should be filling my days with meaningful activities. That I should be working towards something. It is challenging for me to be okay with resting. My husband gets up early each day and goes to work, and I sleep in and then play games on my iPad, read, go for long walks... and I feel guilty.
I read posts of friends of mine on social media with their lives and careers moving forward. It is hard for me to put all of that on hold. To not try and plan and organize things, especially with yoga. I feel like I should be doing something. And I have to keep reminding myself and my job right now is to heal and rest. THAT is the only job I have. So I've had to set boundaries for myself that are difficult for me. I keep off of instagram, and spend less time on social media in general because is kinda makes me feel crappy. I try and fill my days with things I love and can still do, and slowly work towards doing the things that are tiring for me, and more challenging. Things like reading and playing the piano.
I have to be kinds to myself and gentle. Because I really want to be planning yoga classes and moving forward. But I am not ready yet. But I know that, and that is okay. I know that I have made so many gains, especially in the last 3 months. I have come further than I imagined when I left the hospital. And I couldn't have done it without naps, brain breaks and kindness with myself.
Let your moments of rest be as intentional and meaningful as your moments of exertion.
Where do you see this for yourself? Where do you need to practice some ahimsa, or kindness towards yourself and give yourself a break? How can you make this meaningful each day?
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