At my teacher training this summer, our instructor (mentor? sage? guru?) said something that has really stuck with me. Every action comes from fear or from love. Our goal is to always choose love over fear. I've been thinking about ahimsa this week, non-violence. I read somewhere that fear is just violence that hasn't matured yet. So, in turn ahimsa is love.
I believe that most of us are much harder on ourselves than we ever would be on anyone else. We would never talk to our best friends or co-workers they way we do to ourselves, can you imagine it? "Hey Jane, how was your weekend? And that shirt looks horrible on you, it makes you look so fat, you should have worn something else." I would NEVER say that to anyone, but I say it to myself all the time in the mirror. Does that come from fear or love? Well, it isn't love. Not even close. We are so afraid of what we think others think of us, that we will be rejected, and we reinforce this everytime we look at ourselves. What if you could change the dialogue? What if for even an hour you could speak to yourself with compassion, kindness and love? How would that change how you feel? Can you acknowledge the fear, and then face it with love. Can you treat yourself the way you deserve? What impact would this have on your life and relationships?
How we see and value ourselves directly impacts how others treat you. When you see yourself as someone of who isn't of value, isn't worthy of love, you will be treated that way. For example, we've all known someone who is always complaining and putting themselves down. At first you try to be supportive but eventually you see that they don't try to fix anything, so their negative self-view actually becomes really annoying. You might start to avoid talking to them, or stop asking how their weekend was. Are they any less worthy of love and friendship? No, of course not. It becomes a viscious circle.
So my challenge for us this week is to question our actions, self-talk, and interactions with others. Are they coming from love or fear? Can we be kinder, more compassionate? Where does the fear come from? Just acknowledging and perhaps naming that fear is empowering. Treat yourself the way you would your best friend.
Yoga is who you already are. You are imperfectly perfect. Unconditionally.
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