I haven't written an actual blog post here in awhile. It isn't from lack of trying. I have come on here to write a few times, and every time it ends up being something I already wrote about. This morning it was about anxiety, and I deleted the post and said no one wants to hear me talk about this again. Been there, done that... I'll be honest I have felt that way a lot lately in my life. I feel like people are tired of hearing me talk about the same old thing over and over again. We get it, you had a stroke, its been almost 3 years... get over yourself.
Then I was thinking on my walk this afternoon about karma and how life presents you with the lessons you need to learn over and over and over until you get it. Until the way you respond every time is inline with your best self. So maybe the reason I keep coming back to write about anxiety and all the same topics over and over again, is because I am still learning that lesson. It still takes a moment for me to respond in the way that my best me would. Ever notice that in life, that the same thing will come up for you over and over and over... and you wonder to yourself "why on earth am I dealing with this again?"
There are a few things that you must acknowledge as true here; they only person that you can change is yourself and how you respond, that other people are on their own journey doing their own work and that although our paths cross, we are only each responsible for ourselves, and most importantly that we can change our minds. I think that all of these things I've talked about in the past. Nothing new. I know for me that now I am starting to notice these same things pop for me sooner, it takes less time to be like "oh right, this is that lesson again", and I have a pretty good handle on what those lessons I want to learn are. Every time that I am feeling "off" or sad, or disappointed it usually comes down to ignoring one of those things on my list. I haven't clearly been communicating what I need, I forget about balance, or I haven't been compassionate towards myself or others.
This is our work as humans in these meat suits. First to figure out what the lessons you want to learn are, to figure out what your best self looks like, and then to see the opportunities to work on that as they come up in your life. This to me is what the real idea of karma is. Not the westernized "do good things and good things happen" or worse, if bad things happened it is because you did bad things. (I actually would love to start a movement to get rid of the idea of good and bad altogether, another blog for another day.)
Anyway I just really wanted to pop on and tell you that I am doing okay, just working through so much of the same stuff that I have been for the last year. Nothing new. Just getting easier.
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