In five days I am running my second, and probably last half marathon. I managed to leave training for it until the last possible moment, I went from 10km to 21km in a month. I'll tell you know I won't be setting any land speed records, but I am pretty sure I can finish and not die. So that is something.
People keep saying "Oh that's amazing, I could never do that." or more commonly "You are crazy." But I beg to differ, I think that anyone can do this. I started this journey about 6 years ago, when I made a commitment to myself to improve my health and fitness. I've gone farther than I ever thought possible. It started with weekly weigh ins with some good friends, and then yoga after work, and then workouts before work, and then my first 5 km race about 4 months later. I had amazing friends who were support, coaches and cheering squad (They are both running with me this weekend, and I feel blessed to be surrounded by them). The more I did, the better I felt and the more confident I became.
But I am not super human. There were lots of times that my limiting beliefs and self doubt echoed loudly in my ears telling me that "I am not good enough, I am too fat, I am too old, people will laugh, what's the point". Usually at about kilometre 4 when I want to go home they start up, or when I look at my split times afterwards, and see what my other friends are running. Dear god I am slow. When I have to run with other people I still think that I will hold them up and frustrate them. It is hard for to fathom that maybe they just like being with me. I have somehow managed to tune those voices of doubt out most of the time. I have changed the script. When the negativity starts up I try to change it to "I am so proud of you for doing this" and "You are brave and strong".
Why do I do it? It feels so good. When I am done. It is an accomplishment for me. I never thought I would run. I never thought I would be a yoga teacher. Yoga has taught me so much. Yoga philosophy and the practice of non-violence, or ahimsa, has taught me to kind to myself. Runners are the most inclusive group of athletes I have ever met (sorry yogis). Some stranger cheered me on Sunday on my run at about kilometre 11 as she ran the other way, she locked eyes and cheered me and gave me a high five. I could have hugged her. If a stranger can see what I am doing and how big an accomplishment is, why shouldn't I cheer myself on? My physical practice helped prepared me for running by strengthening my breath, learning to listen to my body, and to let my moments of rest be as intense and important as my work. That feeling of rest after exertion is bliss. When your heart is pounding in your chest and you can take slow deep breaths. That is when I feel the most alive.
This is the part where I ask you to check in with yourself? Do you have a practice to nourish your physical body? If not, can you make one? It can be yoga, walking, bike rides, swimming, or even running. If you need a cheerleader, friend, or nag you can use me! I would love to be your stranger at kilometre 11 to cheer loudly for you and give you a high five.
Trust me, you've got this. You are stronger than you think.
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