My husband and I just returned from a road trip to South Dakota to visit the Black Hills. It was our first long road trip for me, I was nervous before we left but it all went really well. Only one not so great night, and it was at the very end of the trip. We had a lovely time.
Except... we both noticed it. It was unsettling. I see it here too. The extreme polarization of society and the willingness to be cruel and offensive to people, a lack of empathy, and the inability to see another's point of view.
Let me explain. It started with noticing the kinds of t-shirts being sold in souvenir shops by Mount Rushmore, and signs that were hung in stores. T-shirts that said things like "Joe and the Ho have Got to Go" and sings hung on store doors that said "South Dakota is an open carry state, Liberals shot on sight." I don't know when in happened, this trend that threatening people is okay, even if it is a joke... I remarked to my husband that "I always thought the first lady was kinda a no-go zone for people". Not anymore. There will billboards everywhere that say "Let's Go Brandon", and we assumed it must have something to do with sports or the intern elections. Nope. It was referring to an incident at a Nascar even in Florida where the people where chanting "F*%k Joe Biden" and the announcer described/interpreted the chant as "Let's Go Brandon" (Brandon referring to Brandon Brown the winner of that race). I see similar things here in Canada; threatening the kill the prime minister. I wonder at what point did it become okay to threaten to kill someone you disagree with politically? This behaviour would get you suspended in high school, or arrested if you did it to your neighbour. Why is it okay for politicians? Because we voted for someone else? It is common to hear the Canadian government now to be referred to as a dictatorship. Really? What does that say to the refugees and immigrants who have moved here from another place that really was a dictatorship.
My husband and I were talking about this last night. We are becoming a society of extremes where things are black and white, when the reality is we exist in shades of grey (as an inside joke between us, he has decided to wear only grey shirts this week). We all are a product of the lives we have lived the things we have seen, and our personal body chemistry. Our experiences are unique to us, and we each see the world as we are. Being able to put ourself in someone else's place and imagine how the world is to them is empathy and at the heart of compassion. We put in an order for an electric car. It should be here next spring, we've had a plug in hybrid fro the past 5 years, and I drove a hybrid before that. We are excited about this electric car. Do you know what we hear all the time? "How expensive are the batteries to replace?" or "well they still burn fossil fuels to make electricity". Never have I said to someone buying a new vehicle "oooh, those oil changes add up... can you afford it?" or "or what if you run out of gas in the middle of nowhere?" .
Feeling defeated and a bit sad I thought of "all I can do is work on myself" and immediately wondered what I could do. My thought was to put compassion first. To offer an example. This means for me noticing when someone says something that I disagree with and my back goes up. Can I understand where they are coming from, do I need to clearly and kindly set a boundary? That I am not not okay with that? Or is it best to disengage? Like on Facebook for example, getting into a pissing contest is usually not going to change anything. What is it that bothers me, is it about the story I tell myself, or is it about a boundary I need to set, because it is almost always one or the other.
The yoga sutras tell us that we operate form ahimsa or non-harm first and foremost. Truth second. If there is anything we need in the world right now is it is more ahimsa. More operating from do no harm. My husband keeps sending me texts that say "what is wrong with the world?" and I have to remind myself what is right. I go for walks and reminds myself to see each person as a soul, that spark. I make eye contact, smile, say hello and genuinely try and see them like you do a new born baby. My mantra for the next little while is karuna hum, I am compassion.
I am asking anyone who reads this, even if you disagree with me, to try and fill the world with a tiny bit more compassion. If that means instead of thinking I am a "pinko commie bastard" you just think "she has a different view than me and that is okay". Share stories of goodness. Think before you speak or type about who is receiving your comment and how it will land. The words we use matter. How we treat others matters. Especially those we don't agree with. Those we are indifferent too.
More compassion. More kindness. We desperately need it.
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